(tra la la la la, la la la la)
Saw Mum on Monday, after work. She was in hospital. Been there a week. She didn’t seem too bad, considering, but I still worry about her. She’s going back in after Christmas / New Year.
Her, Dad, & David are off to stay at her brother Stu’s house today, for the Christmas week. I was invited too, but didn’t want to go. I think it would have made me feel even worse, as I’d be stuck in Stu & Sue’s house for a week with absolutely nothing to do, nothing to keep my mind off of things. At least by staying at home, I can keep myself busy, plus a couple of my mates will still be about in Cambridge.
Last day at work yesterday, before the new year. Don’t go back until Tuesday 4th Jan, so I have a week & a half off work.
I shall try not to mope about too much & wallow in self-pity. Got lots of games to play & DVDs to watch, & will be out with friends over the holiday.
Might be having Christmas dinner at a workmate’s house on Saturday, I’m not sure. Steve’s invited me over for dinner with him & his wife & step-kids (he’s a couple of years younger than me, but his wife is older & has a few grown up children already). It’s very nice of him to invite me, & he said I could even stay over if I wanted. I won’t stay there, but I think I may go for dinner. Not sure. Better than being in all alone on Christmas day.
Might be going karting next Tuesday, for my manager’s 30th birthday. Could be a laugh.
Damn. This time last year, & the year before, I was in Jersey with Kathryn. But not this year, & never again.
I hate being alone. And even when I’m with people, I still feel alone, still lonely, still empty.